Subject: [Enum] review of draft-ietf-enum-iax-03

From: Alexander Mayrhofer <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:04:57 +0200

I've done a review of draft-ietf-enum-iax-03 (NITS and more), comments as
follows:

- Generally, i'd appreciate more review of the document before (or at least
while) we last call this - i have the impression the draft has received
limited attention so far, and more eyes simply see more...

- NITS: the idnits report has some issues with the current version, see
http://tools.ietf.org/wg/enum/draft-ietf-enum-iax/draft-ietf-enum-iax-03.nits.txt

(the most important issue is likely the non-use of RFC2119 language - if
this is intended, the "terminology" section is to be removed from the draft)

- The title says "IAX Enumservice", while the Abstract says "IAX2
Enumservice". I think that should be corrected in the Abstract - the acronym
does not need to be expanded there, according to RFC editor policies.

- Please change section 3 title to "Enumservice Registration - IAX" (that
was accepted by the RFC editors in recent registrations, i think we should
keep those documents similar)

- Terminology is never referred to (see idnits)

- Introduction: I have a slight preference to removing some text from there
to make it more concise, namely:
  - first paragraph, last sentence ("This is accomplished..."). This does
not add much information, and might not be true in all deployments (private
ENUM?)
  - Unsure whether text about the DDDS (last paragraph) is necessary -
refering to ENUM itself should be enough, i think.

- Please expand the Acronym "IAX2" in that section, rather than in the
abstract. Please also add a reference to the protocol spec here, like in
section 3.

- Seciton 3 (registration):
  - Small formatting nit: please add blanklines after each registration
parameter. Personally, i did that using

  <t>Enumservice Name: ...</t>
  ..
  <t>Functional Specification:
    <list style='empty'>
      <t>spec text here</t>
    </list>
  </t>

(if that draft is made using xml2rfc)

- Please use quotes also around the subtype name

- Section 4.1: suggest to uppercase "enumservice" to "Enumservice", and to
split the NAPTR record in two lines, either using backslash, or parentheses.
Probably right before the replacement string. If the term "identifier" has
it's dedicated description in the IAX spec, please refer to the respective
section, so that it can be looked up.

- Section 4.2:
  - H.323 should refer to RFC 3762, rather than 3764.
  - the text mentions an Enumservice for mail/SMTP, however, the example
doesn't list it.
  - the text mentions "voice" only, while the Enumservices listed can be
used for generic communication over those three protocols. Maybe a leftover
from using "voice:sip"?
  - The IAX Enumservice in the example is missing the "iax2" subtype.

- Section 4.3:
  - again, i'd prefer having "Enumservice" instead of "enumservice"...
  - If "context" is described in the IAX spec, please refer to the
respective section
  - Please don't split the NAPTR record in the middle of the replacement
field. backslash/parentheses would help.

- Section 4.4:
  - please split this record in a different way, too.

- Section 6: small nit: suggest to use "and the definitions in Section 3 of
this document"...

- References: I think that the DDDS refs are informative only (if you intend
to keep the DDDS text in the introduction in at all)

Hope that helps!

Alex

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